Tuesday, September 6, 2011
honest thoughts from a soon-to-be mom
So, let's talk "being a mom."
A couple Sunday nights ago, I had a sleepless night. I was in bed worrying about everything ... we hadn't set up the crib yet, we hadn't finished/nailed down everything on our registries, I hadn't finished my ridiculous organizational projects, the house was not clean, we hadn't installed our cloth diaper sprayer to the toilet, and oh, the list goes on! In the midst of all of this, I started thinking about Colt and me and how things are going to change. Some people I've observed kind of get over the whole lovey-dovey marriage stuff and move on to the kid phase simply because it's the next step. Like some of you, I'm sure, we are not like that. We are 100% in love and best friends. We thoroughly enjoy each other's company. This baby is going to ruin it, I thought in my head.
I know, it sounds a little rude, but it's really not. I hope those of you that have gone through the emotions of adjusting to a first child can empathize with this feeling and help me feel a bit more normal.
We are so thrilled to become parents and cannot wait to see our little man, but it was truly overwhelming thinking about everything that night. Colt was already asleep when I started crying hysterically. I did the soft, sniffly cry for awhile, but then it morphed into a bigger cry ... mostly out of genuine emotion, but partly out of my desire for Colt to wake up and pay attention to me. Admit it. You've done the same thing.
We talked a bit and he assured me that we were going to be fine, we still had time together, we were still going to be in love, and everything was going to be okay.
A couple weeks have passed and I do feel better about the whole thing. Fortunately, we've crossed a lot of things off of our list and the basics of the nursery are ready to go. But, I'm still a bit anxious to see what the role of a mom and the role of a wife are really like together. I know it's been done before, and done very well, might I add. I realize I'm not making history here, but it's the unknown and sometimes that is scary enough.
There are 7 weeks left before the unknown becomes very known. I am glad to be on this journey with such wonderful friends, family, and of course, my best friend. I know this baby boy is such a precious gift and I'm excited to meet him.