Wednesday, December 14, 2011
the blues, part 2
With all the comments and messages I received, it's amazing these kinds of feelings aren't spoken of more often. I really appreciate you guys reading my post and giving me feedback. So many moms have felt/feel this way and what better way to get through it than to know you're not alone and that it's been done before. I think people are just too fearful or prideful to admit it until they know it's normal.
I didn't go into detail about how bad it really was. There wasn't anything sweet or pretty about it. It was an ugly time for me and definitely a marriage tester. I thought my life had been taken from me and, at the same time, was reading these bubbly status updates from new moms about how cute their baby was and how wonderful their life was. I will say those first few days did feel like quite the dream ... but that went away quickly. I could have easily pretended the first 2 weeks and said things like, "Cuddling on the couch with Colt and Duke while the fire is going ... could I ask for anything more??" Um, yes, yes you could. How about sleep, time, hobbies, etc.? Yeah, it wasn't feeling too dreamy.
Now listen ... if you are the 'bubbly status update' mom, that's great! I know this baby blues thing doesn't affect everyone so if you really were having the time of your life with your newborn, more power to you! From my perspective, it felt like everyone loved this mom lifestyle from the start and I just didn't get it. Even more than feeling alone, I felt wrong. So, tag on some guilt to the baby blues and you've got quite the unstable human being.
Instead of making this new life out to be nothing but butterflies and rainbows, I decided to be real about it; not negative, but real. My hope was that after reading it, some new mom could say, "I'm not the only one! I feel so much better."
Now that I'm approaching the end of week 8, I can say that my baby blues were gone by that 5th week. (Of course, I still have a rough day every once and awhile; but in general, I'm feeling great about life.) Trust me, I wanted to get on here and just bleed all of my hopeless feelings out into the internet abyss when it was actually happening ... but I refrained. Instead, I opened up a Word document and typed away every time I was overcome with sadness, anger, frustration, etc. I told myself that if I come out of all of this (because it really seemed unending), I'm blogging about it. And here I am!
So, a question for you moms ... how long did you deal with the baby blues? Your honest comment just may be the thing that pulls another mom through it. :)