I think a good majority of us go through ‘that’ phase - the phase where we’re kind of done with God. It’s not necessarily that we don’t believe in God, but we just don’t feel the need for Him or maybe we don’t feel His presence. I think for a lot of us we have felt like we’ve ‘grown out of' God at some point.
It’s hard to trust Him. It’s hard to trust, period.
I’ve had my share of phases with my different ideas about God. The past several months have been interesting. Colt’s heart surgery in March was incredibly tough for everyone involved. It’s an experience you can’t explain. Several months before the surgery, I prayed daily that God would heal Colt’s heart. Right before he went in, the doctors checked his condition one last time. I really believed God would heal him. It turns out God decided to heal him through the hands of doctors and surgeons.
I was extremely disappointed.
Disappointment turned to sadness, frustration, and anger. I was mad at God for quite awhile. I still believed in His existence, but I had decided God was done listening to me. He wasn’t interested so I wasn’t interested. After going back and forth on this issue for quite awhile, a few weeks ago, I had a change of heart. We were doing the music at a camp and more than once, God directly and instantly responded to my prayers.
He was no longer a wall in which I would throw my prayers against.
I guess He actually does listen to me despite my extreme inability to listen to Him many times. It’s easy to disown God when life sucks. It’s easy to feel too intelligent for God. It’s easy to be over the whole thing. Those are easy and mindless things to do. It’s hard to trust God when you hate the cards you’ve been dealt. It’s hard to trust that God does know more than you. It’s hard to remain faithful to Him every day of your life. Those are the hard things to do, but I think they are the most rewarding.
I’m not the example, by any means, of how to be an awesome person, but God reminded me of all of this last night through some things Colt said. He talked about how God is always relevant in all of our ages. God is God when we’re 8, 21, 35, and 72. He is timeless. Don’t let yourself grow out of Him. He certainly hasn’t grown out of us.