(Kelsey and Megan - just a couple of my many wonderful mom friends.)
A lot of my friends have turned into moms. And I believe it's a blessing that even after we've become moms, we've remained friends. I've seen motherhood change people, and not in the normal, good, or even hard ways. Sometimes it drives people into a world of constant comparison. My child is the best child or my child is the worst child (yes, there are those moms). I hoped so badly that it wouldn't be like this among my friends. Thankfully, it's not.
I'm not claiming to be perfect and I'm not saying my friends are either. I'm also not saying we know all there is to know about motherhood. We're all still pretty new to the job. But what I do know is this: we are real about it.
Real moms talk about how excited they are when their kid sleeps through the night, has a great day, is so happy, and smiles all the time.
Real moms also talk about how their kid napped terribly the day before, how they're going through a phase of picky eating, and how they feel helpless in their discipline methods.
Real moms show all sides. We tell success stories and we tell frustrating stories. We celebrate and we complain. We ask and we tell. This, I'm convinced, is how you stay friends as you enter the world of parenting.
There are no expectations to be the best mom or the mom who knows everything. There are no expectations to have the perfect child. There are also no expectations to do everything the same way. Some of my friends do Babywise and some don't. Some of my friends do cloth diapers and some don't. Some of my friends breastfed for a year and some did longer/shorter. Some of my friends had natural births and some had epidurals or C-sections. Everybody has their own way and that's what's so great about it. If something I'm doing isn't working, I have a panel of mom friends to look to for help and encouragement.
I've been blessed with some great moms around me - those of you I see once a week, those of you I see once a year, those of you that I only talk to over social media, and everything in between. Every conversation, every comment, every Facebook message, every text, every everything is so meaningful. Truly, it takes a village. I'm so grateful for all of you. Thanks, moms, for keepin' it real.
Love that you mentioned that some moms take their competition to the opposite extreme of thinking they have the "worst child ever." I have had one friend like that and it was excruciating to constantly have her acting like R was the angel baby (which he wasn't) while her child was SO difficult (which was partially true but often due to some really bad habits of her own creation). It was just as painful to sit through those conversations as it would have been to have her acting like her child was God's gift to earth! ;)ReplyDelete
Yes, it's frustrating both ways!Delete