It was around 10:30 a.m. this morning and I could tell Duke was about ready for a nap. He'd been up since 8:15 a.m. and was beginning to rub his eyes and make whiny noises. I looked at him and said, "Duke, do you want to take a nap?" He smiled, made an exclamatory noise, and signed "please."
It was a proud mom moment. I have a child that loves his sleep and, heck, he's even asking for it!
I've mentioned in my past couple of posts that my anxiety has been a little worse lately. And, to be clear, this anxiety is not a mind thing. It's a body thing. I feel it, I don't think it. I believe I'm equipped to deal with it and I'm not alone, so I'm okay. But it's tiring, for sure.
Colt called me around lunch time to see how things were going. I was in the middle of swapping loads of the laundry from the washer to the dryer, feeling like this round of laundry was never-ending. (I have separate piles in 3 different rooms in the house to fold. I guess that makes it seem like less?)
Anyway, he could tell I wasn't functioning at 100% and pretty much demanded (in the nice way that husbands who are looking out for you do) that I rest. He assured me that nothing will happen if the laundry isn't done. The house can wait. But my body needs a break.
I knew all of that, but sometimes it's just nice to hear it from someone else. I decided to lie down on the couch, smack dab in the middle of the warm laundry I just pulled out of the dryer.
15 minutes. That's all I needed - 15 minutes of quiet, prayer, listening, and closed eyes. I felt so refreshed when I got up to get Duke and fix his lunch.
It's been a few hours since then and I'm already feeling the need to take another break. My body is telling me I'm anxious, but I know in my heart and mind that I am not.
For now, in this season of my life, I need to learn to be okay with the breaks. My counselor, my parents, and my husband all tell me to take breaks. It's hard, though, when you have a list and you put so much worth in feeling accomplished at the end of the day. But I know we all need them, whether you deal with anxiety or not.
These "breaks" are not just moments to take naps and feel physically rested, but also spiritually rested. Like Duke, I spend parts of my days rubbing my eyes and whining for something. I'm whining for rest, and God knows it. He's saying, "Claire, will you please rest? Rest in me." And when I listen, give in, and do it, I am refreshed physically and spiritually. I am healed, little by little.
I hope this can be an encouragement to some of you. Maybe your soul is in absolute chaos and God is asking you to please take a break. Rest in Him today.