settling into the fog

I was driving home late last night and was caught in this.

(Don't worry, I was at a complete stop while taking this picture.)

It was the craziest fog I'd ever seen.  So, so thick.  The visibility was bad.  I didn't know the light was green until I was practically under it and I didn't know where my exit was until the sign was directly in front of me.  I was going really slow, trying to be safe, trying to stay extra alert, and just praying everyone else was doing the same.

At one point when I was at the top of the on ramp looking out over the rest of the highway, I saw absolutely nothing - only fog.  I couldn't see my destination or even the direction I was heading.  I just relied on what I knew to be true and took it one second at a time.

I thought about how true all of this is for my own life.  Some days I don't necessarily see where I'm going, what I'm doing, or what my purpose is.  Some days the unknown is just too much to be okay with.  All I can do is rely on what I know and take it one day at a time.  

Of course, this doesn't mean you don't set goals and plan things.  I am the Queen of that.  But it does mean I don't live in my future, I don't obsess over what might happen, and I don't worry about possible inconveniences or tragedies that aren't even realities. 

This is actually one of the main tools I've had to use in managing my anxiety.   I have to think about my present situation and not some made up one.  I have to rely on what is true - my hope is in the Lord and the only things I really know are the things right in front of me.  All I'm in control of are my responses and my thoughts.  It's kind of a relief.

Once we settle into the thick fog, our lack of control actually becomes the source of our freedom.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"  Jeremiah 29:11