Tuesday, November 15, 2011

duke's birth story

Disclaimer:  While I am leaving out a LOT of details, if you don't like thinking about people giving birth, then just don't read this. :)

We got checked into the hospital about 1:50 a.m.  I got put on the monitors and they said I was dilated to a 4.  That was so exciting to me!  I was so glad to have gotten that far at home.  (Looking back, knowing more about contractions and how I deal with them, I could have probably stayed home another couple of hours before feeling like I really needed to be in the hospital and be monitored.)

Now, it was just a waiting game.  I walked the halls and whenever a contraction came, I hugged Colt, focused on breathing, and swayed until it was over. 

Around 6 a.m., I was between a 5 and a 6.  Around 9 a.m., I was between a 7 and an 8.  Around noon, they decided to break my water to see if that would help me progress.  It got me between an 8 and a 9 and I stayed there for what seemed like forever.  The contractions were like fire.  That's about the only thing I can compare it to.  However, sticking my arm in an actual fire might have felt better than a contraction.

The walks in the hall eventually stopped, but I continued using Colt as a way to deal with the pain.  Each time a contraction came, I grabbed onto Colt's arms and rocked back and forth.  This meant Colt was gently being pushed into the wall over and over.  Although it may seem comical now, it certainly wasn't then.  When you're in labor, anything goes.  The emotional, spiritual, and physical support Colt gave me was more than I could have asked for in a husband.  I learned so much about him and our relationship that day (more on this later).

Our families were all anxiously waiting outside, hearing my noises and my struggle.  Discouragement was really starting to get to me and I finally let myself cry, something I hadn’t allowed until this point (mainly for mental purposes but also for breathing purposes).  I was in so much pain, the most I’ve ever experienced in my life.

I was blessed to have an amazing labor and delivery nurse.  She was very encouraging and when I finally said through my tears, "I'll just have a c-section.  I want this baby out," she assured me that I could do it.  I was ready to be done.  I didn’t think it was ever going to end.

(You may be asking, "Why did you go natural?"  I'll save that for another post, but I will say that having a natural birth really has changed me.)

My nurse suggested that I lay on my side for 4-5 contractions and then switch to the other side.  She said that it might help me progress and it was worth a try.  I was willing to do anything, so I did it.  And it was terrible.  It was in these last moments that I cried and said aloud, “God, please make this happen.  My body can’t do anything else.  I’ve done everything I can and now it’s up to you.  You are the only one that can do this.”  I knew Colt could see the desperation in my eyes and hear it in my voice.  We had reached a new place.  I was at my end.

My nurse came back in and must have noticed a difference because more people started showing up with more equipment.  Then, the doctor came in.  It was time to push.  It was the most uncomfortable, most painful thing I’ve ever had to make myself do.  When I finally heard that cry, it was the most needed, most beautiful, most anticipated noise I’d ever heard.  I had been waiting for that cry for the last 20 hours. 


Once he was out, all I could do was watch him from across the room.  When they gave Duke to me, I just kept saying, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” through my tears.  I couldn’t believe he was mine.  This was the baby boy I'd been thinking about and planning for all this time.  I was a mom and this was my son.

After everything and everyone was out of the room, Colt and I had some moments with Duke ... just the 3 of us.  We talked about how crazy it was, how perfect Duke was, and then we prayed.  The waterworks surely were flowing.  Little did I know that was just the beginning.

We stayed all day Sunday and then part of Monday in the hospital.  Going home was crazy.  I felt a little bit like, “Are you sure we can go home?  You’re letting us go home?  We don’t even know what we’re doing.”  Colt was off work through Wednesday and those first days together were so great. 

I am so grateful that Duke came on the 22nd of October.  With Colt and Duke in my life, my heart is completely overflowing.


2 comments:

  1. This totally made me cry. No shame. Haha Congrats you guys. So happy the waiting game is over for you. And wow childbirth sounds terrible...

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  2. I'm due on Dec 22 and i'm a first timer. Reading how you delivered, I'm getting a picture how it could go. I'd been terribly anxious how it would be, and still am though I manage to keep myself in control.

    I'm happy you went through it well. Blessings be with you and Colt and Duke.

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