BFBN: maintaining sleep schedules on vacation // no guilt for sleep scheduling

It's Babywise Friendly Blog Network week, and our topic is sleep.  I know that these posts are going to be so helpful, so check out each of these ladies' blogs this week:

Monday:  Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Tuesday:  Shea at The Moses Home // Stephanie at Giving It Grace
Wednesday:  Brooke at Apffel a Day // Kimberly at Team Cartwright
Thursday:  Carrie at Wiley Adventures // Emily at The Journey of Parenthood
Friday:  Claire at My Devising // Elaine at Faithfully Infertile

Kimberly posted on the importance of keeping a schedule even when you're on vacation.  I know that for me, considering my personality and my kids' ages, keeping a schedule is important for us as well. It keeps everyone happy, well-rested, and provides downtime we all need.

Brooke's post is a great encouragement to all of us moms to go with our instincts.  There's no need to be passive aggressive and post articles in an attempt to put others' parenting methods down and lift up our own.  There's no guilt for how we parent.  There's no guilt for sleep training.

BFBN: importance of a sleep routine // protecting baby's first nap

It's Babywise Friendly Blog Network week, and our topic is sleep.  I know that these posts are going to be so helpful, so check out each of these ladies' blogs this week:

Monday:  Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Tuesday:  Shea at The Moses Home // Stephanie at Giving It Grace
Wednesday:  Brooke at Apffel a Day // Kimberly at Team Cartwright
Thursday:  Carrie at Wiley Adventures // Emily at The Journey of Parenthood
Friday:  Claire at My Devising // Elaine at Faithfully Infertile

There are 2 posts on sleep today.  Stephanie wrote about the importance of a sleep routine.  I like that she mentions how a sleep routine, which may seem rigid to some people, usually means that you are able to put your baby down almost anywhere for naps and bedtime.  That's how my kids have been.  Give them a room to sleep in and they'll do it.  She talks about how a routine actually gives her a lot of flexibility with things like late evenings at friends' houses, traveling, etc.

Shea's post is so great for any moms who are new to Babywise.  She wrote about protecting the baby's first nap of the day and how, a lot of the time, it influences how the rest of the day goes.  She explains how the first nap transforms and changes throughout your baby's first year.  This is a great resource for anyone needing to know what to expect as your baby grows.

BFBN: how healthy sleep principles benefit infancy through preteen

It's Babywise Friendly Blog Network week, and our topic is sleep.  I know that these posts are going to be so helpful, so check out each of these ladies' blogs this week:

Monday:  Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Tuesday:  Shea at The Moses Home // Stephanie at Giving It Grace
Wednesday:  Brooke at Apffel a Day // Kimberly at Team Cartwright
Thursday:  Carrie at Wiley Adventures // Emily at The Journey of Parenthood
Friday:  Claire at My Devising // Elaine at Faithfully Infertile

I love Valerie's post today.  It's all about how good sleep habits follow our children into the preteen ages.  My favorite part is about how when our children are used to being well-rested, they learn how to take personal responsibility for their sleep.  They may make their own observation about how going to bed later means they don't sleep as well or they wake earlier.  They notice things like that because they are so accustomed to having good, healthy sleep consistently.  It was encouraging to read through some of the benefits of Babywise even as our children get older.

how nova slept through the night

When Duke was close to turning 1, I gathered all of my information and notes on his night sleep and wrote this long, detailed post.  I wanted to write out how he achieved his night sleep in hopes that other readers would use it as a resource.  (Turns out, that is my 2nd most read post of all time!  The people obviously want some sleep!)

Duke was a by-the-book Babywise baby.  He was sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks and operated well with a dream feed that gradually moved back over time.  He had crazy newborn nights like every baby, but once he found his rhythm and fell into 7-8 hours of sleep each night, he never went back.

But when Nova was born, the information from that post wasn't very helpful.  I figured I'd just do things how I did them with Duke, but that wasn't going to work for her.  I had a pretty rough start with her because of nursing issues, so trying to navigate a whole new road to sleep on top of that was hard.

Although I thought it would never happen, we did eventually achieve wonderful nights of sleep.  Just as I did with Duke, I wanted to map out exactly how Nova started sleeping through the night.

Before we start, here's a little "internet mom code" lesson for those of you who are unfamiliar:
DF - dream feed
MOTN - middle of the night
CIO - cry it out
STTN - sleeping through the night

The tips I gave at the beginning of my post about Duke still hold true, in my opinion.  So I'll just quote it word for word.  Here's how we started:

First, the eat/wake/sleep pattern needs to be in place.  Routine first makes a schedule happen later.

Weeks 1-4, feed when your baby indicates.  Don't stress out about a strict schedule, but do aim for every 2.5-3 hours.  If your baby is sleeping and it would make him go past the 3 hour mark, wake your baby to feed.  Once you get to the night time, continue operating like this.  From what I read and was told, you don't want your baby sleeping more than 4-5 hours at a time those first 4 weeks.   At this age, Duke never went longer than that on his own.  He had no problem letting me know when he wanted to eat at night. :) 

(Also, refer to this post for more tips on how to begin Babywise with a newborn.)

After about a month, depending on your baby's weight gain and pediatrician's instructions, a lot of the time, you can let your baby sleep as long as they'd like at night.

When we arrived at the 1 month milestone with Nova, I began to implement a consistent morning waketime, just as I did with Duke.  I aimed to get that first feed in anywhere between 8-8:45 a.m.  So, if she woke around 6:30 a.m. or later, I'd try to hold her off by rocking her with a paci.  Most of the time, she'd fall right back asleep and we'd sleep in the recliner until 8 something.  If she wouldn't calm down, I'd feed her.  Then, I'd wake her back up in the 8-8:45 a.m. time period and do her first morning feed. 

I'll give you a few quick sleeping milestones that we hit along the way:
At 5 weeks, she did one night of 6 hours.
At 8 weeks, she did one night of 7 hours.
At 2 months, she did one night of 9 hours.

Those were all one time deals.  She'd do an amazing stretch and then things went back to how they were, which was 4-5 hours between feedings.  And sometimes that wasn't even guaranteed!  It was frustrating because I knew she could go longer, but I wasn't sure how to get her there.  It didn't feel like we were progressing at all.

At 10 weeks, I was about to lose it.  I had to try something else, so I did 2 things.

1.  A friend of mine suggested something she did with her daughter, so I decided I'd give it a try.  I kept a consistent bedtime feed, but didn't focus on a consistent morning feed.  Why?  Because typically, I'd wake her in the 8 o'clock hour and she was just not ready to eat.  She'd barely eat, maybe 2 ounces, and that set us up for a wonky day.  She'd take a short nap because she didn't get a full first feed, and the day would continue like that.  So I decided that whenever she woke up, we'd start the day.  As I look back on my feeding schedules, this meant she started her days anywhere from 6:50 a.m. - 8:30 a.m. 

2.  No more dream feed.  I fed sometime around 8-9 p.m. at night and then put her to bed.  That DF (which worked so well with Duke) was interrupting her sleep, so I cut it out.

I started those 2 things simultaneously and I saw instant improvement.  Just like that, she went to just waking once at night.  Still not awesome, but much better than a DF and a MOTN feeding.

At 11.5 weeks, I decided we had to be done with MOTN feedings.  Here's how I knew she was ready:

1.  She was gaining well.
2.  She barely spit up.  (I include this because Duke had awful reflux and that affected his weight gain and the amount of time he could sleep before needing to eat again.)
3.  Her first morning feed was always bad.  Most of the time, she'd take 2 ounces and be done.  She was barely even interested in eating.  That told me that her MOTN feeding was not necessary.  She was eating because she could, but not because she needed it.

So we did what was next on our list:  cry it out.  (If you'd like to know how CIO is done correctly and in a beneficial way, email me and I'd love to discuss it!)

Night one of CIO, she woke around 3 a.m.  She wasn't really even crying; it was more of an oops-I'm-awake-so-I-guess-I'll-fuss kind of thing.  After a few minutes, she went right back to sleep.  And I actually had to wake her that morning at 8:15 a.m.!  She did 11 straight hours without a feeding.  The next night, no waking at all.  She slept 10.5 hours straight.  The next, 11 hours.  The trend continued and she slept anywhere from 10.5-12 hours each night.  No waking.  That's with one night of CIO.  It's like her little body just needed to be convinced that eating in the MOTN wasn't necessary.  As a result, her first morning feeding was better, her schedule started to become more predictable, and I was finally getting to STTN!

When it comes to STTN, every baby has their own journey.  What has worked for my two children may not work for yours and vice versa.  It's important to give yourself grace as you figure out what works best for your baby.  And if you're in the trenches of sleep-deprivation and feeling like you'll never sleep again, know that your time is coming!

BFBN: managing multiple babywise schedules

Today is Babywise Friendly Blog Network day!  I posted over on Elaine's blog about how Nova slept through the night.  The process with her looked very different than with Duke, so I wanted to map out how that worked for us.  Read the entire post here!

Emily has posted here and has some great things to share on having multiple children and managing the schedules that come with it.  She offers some really helpful insight and words of encouragement.  Enjoy!

Managing Multiple Babywise Schedules

by Emily from The Journey of Parenthood

I will never forget what it was like when my first baby was born. How overwhelming everything seemed and how lost I felt. Then I read Babywise for the first time. I had clarity and a focus and decided to implement a sleep routine for our home. It was tough, at first, to get everything figured out. It was tricky to stay consistent and to keep my baby on that set schedule. It was hard work but it was work that was worthwhile.

Then I added a second child...and now a third one into the mix. Staying on schedule with one child was tricky...but with three?!?!

Many people assume as I add more children to my family that I will "give up on that Babywise stuff." That I will decide it's too hard to keep them on all their schedules and I will just go with the flow and not worry about set naps and feeding times. This couldn't be further from what has actually happened. As I've added more children to my home, I've only seen more benefits of Babywise and have only become more consistent in keeping my baby on a schedule.

Having multiple children means multiple schedules. However, it's only for a short time period. Once I start implementing a schedule (when the baby is 2 weeks old) all my kids start the day at the same time. The baby nurses at 7:00 and the older two wake up and start the day at 7:00. Now that my third baby is 5 months old she has her afternoon nap at 1:00. Which is the same time my 3 year old naps and my 5 year old naps (using the term "napping" loosely here for the 5 year old...he mostly just rests and reads during this time). Once the baby turns a year old they have their mealtimes with the rest of the family so even that becomes easier! Really keeping all my children on their schedules isn't as tricky as people assume. Usually the days run smoothly for us all at this point!

So much of implementing Babywise is remembering that it's only for a season. The early days are tough with a newborn but they get easier. And when you have multiple children, the days of their schedules not matching up are also numbered. For me personally, it's the hardest to deal with all of the schedules when the baby is under two weeks old and not on any type of schedule at all. Feeding on demand is the most stressful time for me. I'm not able to plan the day and I'm not able to know that I will be available to help my older children for their scheduled activities. For example, I may need to make their lunch but can't because baby is nursing. It may be time for them to go bed but I can't tuck them in because baby is nursing. Thankfully, I've been blessed to have help during the early newborn stage! I have my helpers (my mother in law and my husband are amazing!) take care of the older children so I'm able to focus on taking care of myself and the baby.

The best piece of advice I always give to Babywise moms who are expecting their second child is to keep the focus on the baby. I know it's hard because you worry about the older child's feelings. You want to keep things as normal for them as possible and you want to make sure they still feel special etc. I have three children and have yet to deal with any jealously issues when I've introduced a new sibling to our home. Yes, I focus on the baby. But that doesn't mean I neglect the other children. Having special time with their daddy and grandmother is a treat (and it allows me to focus on the baby)! They get to watch many more movies when a new baby is at home (when I'm nursing and need something for them to do!). They get a little "spoiling" by getting to stay up late sometimes (when I'm nursing and can't put them to bed on time). And they still get a TON of one-on-one time with Mommy. Babies sleep...a LOT and when the baby is sleeping it allows for that time to spend with the older children.

In order of importance, the baby needs to come first when it comes to scheduling. For example: All of my kids nap at 1:00. It's the most important for the infant to be put down for nap at the exact right time so I don't miss the sleepy window! So I put her to bed first. Then I tuck in the 3 year old as her nap is still critical for her to have a happy attitude the rest of the day. Lastly, I tuck in the 5 year old. He doesn't even really need the sleep and it's fine if he goes down late for nap. Same with bedtime. If the older kids stay up a little late in order to accommodate the baby, it's fine. They are old enough to be flexible and can adjust. Even meal times are also easily flexible for them. If my husband is gone at work and I have to nurse the baby at 7:00 in the morning then I go ahead and wake the big kids up earlier and have their breakfast ready for them to eat while I'm nursing.

By keeping the focus on the baby's needs during their first year of life it allows for more enjoyment for us all. I know it seems like a big sacrifice that my children spend a lot of time at home while the baby naps. But it pays off so quickly. While I'm pregnant I try to get them gifts during holiday seasons that include fun things to enjoy at home once the baby arrives. I try my best to have a variety of activities for us to do while the baby is napping. By putting the baby first and staying consistent with the baby's schedule, I then have a baby who sleeps WELL. And a good sleeping baby allows for that quality time with my other children. It also means when the baby is awake that she is happy and content and we are able to go and do things during her awake times (once they are long enough to actually go out!) and she will be easy to take care of which also allows for more fun for the entire family.

Babies' schedules change often. I physically write out the baby's schedule as well as the schedules of the older children. I then match them up and rework things as needed. Meal times may change for awhile for the older kids. Sometimes our family dinner may have to happen at 5:00 because I will have to nurse the baby at 5:30. Then the schedule will change and the older kids may have to take their baths prior to dinner because I will have to be nursing the baby at 6:30. My children have had no issues with these temporary changes in their schedules and they easily go back to our normal routine once the baby is older enough where the schedules match up better.

Scheduling benefits everyone in our family. While it may be tricky to make things work when we add a new baby to our home, it becomes easier as they get older and the time period of sacrificing for the baby is short-lived. If you are adding a new baby to your home, do not be discouraged and do not feel overwhelmed! Just focus on the baby's needs and everything else will fall into place. Before you know it the craziness of multiple scheduling will become second nature and you will be adjusted to your new normal :)

BFBN: babywise is a great problem solver

It's Babywise Friendly Blog Network week!  All week, each of us will be sharing posts on the same topic and directing our readers to the different blogs in the network.  Here's the schedule for the week:

Monday: Rachel from A Mother Far From Home
Tuesday: Valerie from Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Wednesday: Emily from Journey of Parenthood
Thursday: Claire from My Devising
Friday: Maureen from Childwise Chat

I've written before about the why I think following the Babywise philosophy is worth it.  But today, I want to zero in on something specific:  problem solving.

When a problem arises, my first reaction as a mom is not, "Oh, he's just being an infant/baby/toddler."  My first reaction is to look for the problem.  What is different and why is Duke acting this way?

Sure, there are some chaotic moments that we can definitely blame on age.  A 2 year old will be a 2 year old.  There are so many "infant/baby/toddler" things that are just facts of life.  We can't explain everything and we don't always know why kids do the things they do.  But for a lot of things, there's a reason behind it.  Babywise doesn't necessarily give you answers for everything, but it does give you direction for most things.  Babywise is a great resource for problem solving.

In my opinion, sleep has been the main clue.

One of the great perks of having a Babywise baby is that you have a child who sleeps.  Sleeping well is the norm.  Short naps and interrupted night sleep are unusual.  I've found this to be true from when Duke was about 7-8 weeks until now, at almost 2.5 years old.  He is a pretty great sleeper and when that isn't the case, I know something is off.  It could be teething, a growth spurt, or maybe a sickness.  Whatever the issue, I know when to consider those things.  If his sleeping habits were never the same, I could never depend on it to indicate a problem. 

Babywise produces good sleepers because of the structure it offers.  Structure encourages consistency.  You can solve problems without consistency, but it sure does make it easier.

I feel it should be said that just because you aren't a naturally structured person who enjoys the process of problem solving doesn't mean Babywise isn't for you.  I know plenty of people that have completely different personalities than me but that still love following the Babywise philosophy.  The benefits are just that great.  So if you're reading this and thinking there's no way I'd want to keep up with all of this, just know that you may enjoy it more than you realize.  It's certainly worth a try!

Being able to recognize problems quickly is just one of the many benefits of Babywise (like having a predictable schedule, having a home full of well-rested people, etc.). 

How has Babywise helped you solve problems?

babywise is worth the work

I'm excited to get to share my Babywise Success Story on Valerie's blog today.  You can read it here or hop on over to her blog to read my story along with many others. 

After 3 weeks of newborn insanity, I grabbed on to the only thing I could still hear clearly in my mind - a friend recommending Babywise to me.

I only have one kid right now (20 months), so I don't have a ridiculous amount of experience.  But I will say, the newborn phase was unbelievably hard for me.  I was shocked by what sleep deprivation did to me and I was a bit caught off-guard when PPD hit.  But around 7-8 weeks, my little guy was sleeping 7-8 hours.  It was not only a great thing for my baby, but it was a game changer for me and my outlook.  Babywise was working for us and I don't know what I would've done without it.

But following and implementing the principles of Babywise is no easy task.  Keeping my son awake for full feedings in the sleepy newborn days, waking him up from naps when I wished so badly I could just let him sleep, establishing a consistent morning waketime, and implementing "cry it out" when necessary are just a few of the things I found to be tricky.  It's tough to keep at it and not give in to what may seem easier in the moment.  

But all of the hard work has paid off immensely.  My son is a great sleeper.  He sleeps 12-14 hours at night and takes a good 2-3 hour nap each day.  He instantly falls asleep on his own and just enjoys sleep in general.  When we put him in his crib, he smiles and giggles.  Whether it's eating, sleeping, or playing, he knows exactly what to expect each day.

In the first few pages of reading Babywise, you'll find that routine (eat/wake/sleep) is number one on the priority list.  A schedule comes second.  This is what makes Babywise so great to me.  You end up with a predictable routine that produces a predictable schedule.  And whenever that schedule needs to be adjusted or whenever baby decides to adjust it on his own, you can always fall back on the routine.  This allows for so much flexibility and, for us, we've seen that Babywise works in any situation we find ourselves in.

Just like any other parenting book, you keep what works for you and throw out what doesn't.  Babywise gives you guidelines, not requirements.  It offers suggestions, not demands.  It provides structure, not rigidity. 

When asked, I always suggest Babywise as a tool for moms.  We are seeing benefit after benefit in our 20 month old and I certainly plan on using it with any future children.

all about waketime

Waketime for your baby can be one of the hardest, most frustrating things to figure out.  If you're off, even just 5 minutes, it could mean a short nap.  A 45 minute nap in place of a 2 hour nap can make for a big speed bump in your day.  Here are a few things that I think are helpful to know about waketime:

1.  Waketime includes feeding time.  So, when you're trying to figure out the length of waketime for your baby, make sure you add in his feeding time.  (If baby feeds for 30 minutes and is awake 20 minutes after that, your total waketime is 50 minutes.)

2.  Waketime can consist of baby playing with you and/or baby playing alone.  In those early weeks/months, don't think too hard about it.  If waketime consists of baby sprawled out on your lap just looking up at you, that's great!  If it consists of baby being on a playmat alone, that's great too!  A balance of playtime with you and playtime alone is needed.  Don't let that mom guilt creep in and tell you otherwise.

3.  When naps are short and your baby is consistently waking early, try shortening waketime.  If you were doing an hour of waketime, try 55 minutes.  Keep going until you see that naps are the correct length.  If shortening waketime doesn't lengthen your naps, try lengthening waketime by 5 minute increments.  If you notice short naps continue occurring no matter what you do with waketime, it could always be a growth spurt or teething issue.  Don't overlook the fact that your baby just might be hungry!

4.  Remember that waketime length changes as your baby gets older.  At the beginning it may be 45 minutes.  When your baby is 2 months, it will most likely be longer than that.  When your baby is 4 months, it may be closer to an hour and twenty minutes.  Every baby is different so you definitely have to do a little trial and error to figure it out.  

5.  To go along with number 4, know the signs for when waketime length may be changing.  For us, there is one main indicator that waketime needs to be lengthened.  If we put Duke down and he is beside himself - crying like crazy and not excited about sleeping - it's most likely because he's honestly not ready for a nap.  Of course, not all crying at the beginning of a nap means this.  However, since we've always followed Babywise, there came a time when Duke stopped crying for naps (somewhere around 3 months I think).  Now, his typical routine is smiling and cuddling up next to his bumper.  If he doesn't do that, we know something is off.  If this happens, I get him back out, let him play a bit longer, and then put him back down.  So far, it's worked every time. 

Waketime can be tough to figure out, but once you do, you're golden!

schedule transitions for sleeping through the night

In Babywise, the majority of the information on sleeping through the night is discussed in Chapters 6 and 7.  However, I could've used an entire book about this one thing. 

I'm going to explain step by step exactly how sleeping through the night happened for us.  This may or may not work for you, but hopefully it will help those of you who need some sort of an outline for the whole process.

First, the eat/wake/sleep pattern needs to be in place.  Routine first makes a schedule happen later.

Weeks 1-4, feed when your baby indicates.  Don't stress out about a strict schedule, but do aim for every 2.5-3 hours.  If your baby is sleeping and it would make him go past the 3 hour mark, wake your baby to feed.  Once you get to the night time, continue operating like this.  From what I read and was told, you don't want your baby sleeping more than 4-5 hours at a time those first 4 weeks.   At this age, Duke never went longer than that on his own.  He had no problem letting me know when he wanted to eat at night. :) 

After week 4 things can change a bit.  Let your baby go longer at night and implement a consistent waketime.  During the day, continue your normal feeding pattern until your desired bedtime.  At that point, just see what your baby does.  But no matter when he eats during the night, wake him up at the same time each morning for his first feeding.

This is where some confusion can set in, so I'd like to address it.  You want to be realistic.  Your baby is not going to be sleeping 10-12 hours straight with no feedings for a few months.  So don't put him to bed at your desired 10-12 hour sleep time.  If you want your baby to sleep 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m., that's great.  But I wouldn't suggest operating like that in the beginning.  (Again, this is what worked for us.  It may not work for you.)

Here's what I suggest:  Start with your morning feeding, whatever it is, and work backwards.  Remember, you want consecutive hours of sleep.  Our first morning feeding was 8:00 a.m.  Thinking realistically, the first long stretch your baby does will probably be 5-6 hours.  (This may be around 5-6 weeks.)  I want that stretch to be during the night, when I'm sleeping.  For example, I'd rather my baby sleep from 2:00 a.m.-8:00 a.m. than 10:00 p.m.-4:00 a.m.  (Now, this doesn't mean you're staying up until 2:00 a.m.  Just keep reading.)

In order to get to this point,  keep your 3 hour feeding schedule during the day until maybe 11:00 p.m.  Then, see what he does.  Here's an example of what may happen at first during an average 24 hour period:

8:00 a.m.  Feed
11:00 a.m.  Feed
2:00 p.m.  Feed
5:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 p.m.  Feed
11:00 p.m.  Feed
3:00 a.m.  Feed (he probably wakes you)
7:00 a.m.  Feed (he probably wakes you)
8:00 a.m.  Wake him and feed

Yes, that 7:00 a.m. feeding backed up to the 8:00 a.m. feeding will drive you nuts.  But within days, he will probably realize he doesn't need the 7:00 a.m.  So after awhile, he may do this:

8:00 a.m.  Feed
11:00 a.m.  Feed
2:00 p.m.  Feed
5:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 p.m.  Feed
11:00 p.m.  Feed
3:30 a.m.  Feed (he probably wakes you)
8:00 a.m.  Wake him and feed

You're getting there.  You've got a late night feeding and a middle-of-the-night feeding.  Your next goal is to get rid of the 3:00 a.m. feeding.  But that would leave you with feeding at 11:00 p.m. and then 8:00 p.m..  That's 9 hours between feedings and probably not a realistic goal.  Remember, baby may only be 6-7 weeks at this point.

What I did was cram in another feeding that would make it 2 hours between feedings in the evening.  And that's totally fine.  (Babywise, Pages 115-116)  Don't worry about the "cluster feeding" debate.  We had to do a phase of cluster feeding (6:00 p.m., 8:00 p.m., 10:00 p.m.) with Duke later on because of his spitting up.  It was totally not a big deal to move it back to a normal evening schedule when he was ready.   So you may try this:

8:00 a.m.  Feed
11:00 a.m.  Feed
2:00 p.m.  Feed
5:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 p.m.  Feed
10:00 p.m.  Feed
12:00 a.m.  Feed
8:00 a.m.  Wake him and feed

The first few times you try it, he still may wake in the night to eat.  That's fine, but soon enough, he'll catch on.  Sleeping after the 12:00 a.m. feeding to the 8:00 a.m. feeding is definitely feasible.  Your baby will most likely achieve this around weeks 7-9.  (Babywise, Pages 114, 132)  And this way, you're still getting 7 feeding periods in your day.  So, work on perfecting that schedule.  Watch your baby's cues.  Was he really ready to go 8 hours at night between feedings?  Is he still gaining weight well?  

Once you notice he's doing well with that amount and you can tell he's ready to drop that 12:00 a.m. feeding, start moving the 12:00 a.m. backwards - 11:50 p.m., 11:45 p.m., etc.  (This may be around 2-3 months.)  Get it to where it's too close to the 10:00 p.m. to keep doing it.  Then, drop it!  In response to that, you may want to move the 10:00 p.m. a bit later too.  Aim for this:

8:00 a.m.  Feed
11:00 a.m.  Feed
2:00 p.m.  Feed
5:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 p.m.  Feed
11:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 a.m.  Wake him and feed

If he nurses for 30 minutes and you put him down, that gives him about 8.5 hours of sleep.  My next suggestion would be to stick with 6 feedings for awhile.  You don't want to drop to 5 feedings too early, even though you really want to.  (And, in my case, you certainly don't want to if your baby has severe acid reflux.)  Make sure your baby is ready for that.  So, if you stick with 6 feedings, but you want to increase sleep time, move your schedule around.  Try this:

8:00 a.m.  Feed
11:00 a.m.  Feed
2:00 p.m.  Feed
5:00 p.m.  Feed
8:00 p.m.  Feed
10:30 p.m.  Feed
8:00 a.m.  Wake him and feed

Remember, there's nothing wrong with making those last 2 feedings closer together.  (Babywise, Pages 115-116)

Think your baby is ready for more sleep?  Definitely make sure these things are happening:
1.  You're having to wake him up every morning at 8:00 a.m. (or whatever your morning waketime is) consistently for weeks.
2.  Naps are going well.
3.  Baby is gaining weight appropriately.

If those are true for you, that's probably a good sign he's ready for more night sleep.  Try moving the 10:30 p.m. feeding earlier.  Move by 5-10 minute increments.  Try doing that last feeding at 10:00 p.m. instead of 10:30 p.m.

(P.S.  I explain here why I chose the schedule I did in the beginning.)  

So, from there it's pretty much under control.  All you're doing is adding more hours into your baby's night sleep as he shows that he's ready.   

Once your baby is ready for 5 feedings, drop that 6th feeding the same way that you dropped the 7th.  Just don't rush it.  In Duke's case, he wasn't ready for 5 feedings until 6 months.  It's easy to remember:  6 feedings until 6 months.

Whew!  That was quite a post.  It took me forever to write and it probably took you forever to read.  But if it helps someone, it was worth it.  And, as usual, feel free to ask questions about any of it.  Getting your baby to sleep through the night is one of the most glorious things ever!

{EDIT:  My second child, Nova, transitioned into a full night of sleep in a totally different way than my son.  If you're interested in reading about how she started sleeping through the night, read this post.}

growth spurts and teething

When Duke displays some sort of behavior that isn't his norm, I can pretty much arrive at one of two conclusions:  He's going through a growth spurt or he's teething.

In both instances, Duke has done some (or all) of the following:

-is really fussy
-eats a ridiculous amount
-doesn't eat a lot
-is fussy during mealtime
-has crazy long naps
-has crazy short naps

There are certain times that growth spurts are "supposed to happen."  Of course, babies are babies.  They can do whatever they want whenever they want no matter what Google tells you.

Right around 8 months, there was a week when Duke wanted to eat 6 times each day rather than 5.  He woke from his morning nap after 1.5 hours.  This was not normal, as he was used to sleeping 2-2.5 hours.  Then, he woke up after 45 minutes of his afternoon nap.  Again, this was unusual.  Waking up and going back to sleep is one thing.  Waking up, crying, and wanting to be fed is another.  He was legitimately up and legitimately hungry, so I fed him.

In my experience, waking early from naps is one of the biggest clues of a growth spurt.  Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes babies just wake early from naps because they want you to lose your mind.  Maybe a loud noise woke them up or maybe they're just up to be up.  If that's the case, you can problem solve for the issue of waking early.  (Check out my nap issues post.)  If they're up because they're hungry, then they should eat.

We've obviously experienced growth spurts before with Duke, but I didn't keep track of exactly what he did.  Since I was thinking about it this time around, I thought I'd record his schedule.  This is what naturally happened the first day of the growth spurt:

Fed at 8:05
Nap at 9:30
Woke at 11:00

Fed at 11:25
Nap at 12:45
Woke at 1:30 (made happy noise for awhile, then cried)

Fed at 2:00
Nap at 3:00
Woke at 4:15

Fed at 4:30
Nap at 6:00
Woke at 6:45

Fed at 6:50

Fed at 9:00
Bed at 9:30

The following days looked pretty much the same.

Right after this week-long "growth spurt," he popped a new tooth.  So was it really a growth spurt or was he just teething?  Well, if it was a growth spurt, I met his need.  If it wasn't a growth spurt and Duke was just waking early due to teething, then he got some extra calories.  It's a win-win situation.

If you think your baby might be going through a growth spurt, let your baby set the schedule for those few days.  Then you can return to normal.  Trying to avoid a growth spurt or pretend it's not there won't help anything.  It'll just make it last longer and you won't be providing your baby with what he needs.  In the same way, if your baby is teething, expect a few changes.

This is one of those times when I'm so grateful to not only have a schedule but a routine as well.  No matter how "off" his schedule gets, we can always fall back on routine.

I'd love to hear from some other moms on this.  How do you deal with growth spurts and teething?  Any tips/tricks?  What cues do you look out for that indicate your baby is going through a growth spurt or teething?

morning waketime and bedtime

The great thing about Babywise is that it can be molded and shaped to fit each individual baby and parent.  My daily schedule can look totally different from someone else doing Babywise.

I talked here about consistent waketime.  I definitely recommend waking your baby at the same time every morning to eat (give or take 15 minutes earlier or later).  But when you should wake your baby is up to you.  And, of course, when you wake your baby is dependent upon when you put your baby to bed.  All of this is really just personal preference.

Right now, we put Duke to bed at 10:00 and wake him up at 8:30.  Why this schedule?

1.  When I planned out my daily piano teaching schedule, starting his day at 8:30 meant I would still be able to breastfeed him for all of his feedings (rather than having Colt feed a pumped bottle).  This is important to me because I don't want to question my supply and I don't want to have to pump every single day.

2.  If we want to grab coffee or get snow cones after dinner ... this allows for that.  I know, I'm such a fat kid making sure we have time for those things ... but they're like mini-dates for Colt and me!

3.  I want Colt to have time with Duke.  If Duke went to bed at 7:00 p.m. like some babies do, that would hardly give Colt any time with him during the week.

4.  I don't want to wake up EARLY.  I understand 8:30 is nowhere near early, but I'm not going to start my day at 6:00, that's for sure.  

Now that summer is here, my piano students' lesson times have moved around which means I can change Duke's schedule.  I'd like him to sleep closer to the hours of 9:00 p.m. - 7:30 a.m so I plan on gradually moving the schedule in that direction.

Another thing to consider is how long you can go without feeding.  Babywise advises you to be careful with your milk supply.  If your baby sleeps 12 hours, that means you've gone more than 12 hours without feeding.  Some moms can do that without a problem.  Some moms' supplies would not be able to keep up with that.

I don't want to push towards going more than 12 hours without feeding.  In a couple of months, I might feel better extending the time between the bedtime feeding and the first morning feeding.  For now, Duke gets 10.5 hours of sleep at night.  This means I go 11.5 hours between the bedtime and morning feedings.  (Remember, we have to allow about 45 minutes after feeding for burping.)

So, let's take a little survey.  What time do you put your baby to bed and what time do you wake your baby in the morning?

the magic ingredient

I will sing Babywise's praises until the day I die.  I have the first book pretty much memorized and am on my way to do the same for book two.

People just want their sleep.  Moms want their sleep.  That's why I did Babywise to begin with.  I was pulling my hair out and losing my mind and turning into a crazy monster woman.  (This is no joke.  Just ask Colt.)

There are so many things to remember when reading that first book and it can be really overwhelming.  I started Babywise around week 3 and the first couple of weeks I was doing it, I skipped over one very important thing:  consistent waketime.  Lately, I've had several conversations with different moms about this very thing, so I thought I'd write a bit about it.

People, this is the magic ingredient.  This is when we turned a corner and Duke began sleeping longer and longer at night.

If you don't have a consistent waketime, your schedule won't look the same every day.  Yes, your routine can stay the same.  But your schedule will not.  (I talked about the benefit of having both here.)

So what does this mean?  It means that you pick a time that you want your morning to start.  I wanted to get up at 8:00 a.m.  So, no matter what Duke did the night before, I had to get up and feed him at 8:00 a.m.  If he ate last at 5:30 a.m., I fed him at 8:00 a.m.  If he ate last at 7:00 a.m., I fed him at 8:00 a.m.  (Yes, if that happened, I pretty much would feed him, burp him, and then feed him all over again at 8:00 a.m.)  It wasn't fun and it was exhausting ... but it was worth it.   When he was 6 weeks, I started implementing consistent waketime.  By 8 weeks, he was sleeping 7-8 hours at night.  Since that point, he's only added to the amount of hours he sleeps at night.

And let me say, this is not easy.  There were many mornings when 8:00 a.m. would come and all I wanted to do was keep sleeping.  But if I wanted consistency and longer hours of sleep at night, I had to do it.  Soon enough, his little tummy realized that he would eat at 8:00 a.m. and he didn't need to wake and eat before that point.

(Side note:  If you have schedule/Babywise questions, I'd love to help if I can.)  Just be sure to implement this magic ingredient.  You will be glad you did!

babywise on the go

Babywise is working wonderfully for us.  However, something I had a hard time wrapping my brain around at first was making Babywise work for us when we were out.

Feeding, although sometimes inconvenient, obviously has to happen if you're out during meal time. Waketime is easy.  But the naps can be tricky.  Here are the things that we've done or still do when it comes to making Duke's naps happen.

1.  If we're going on a long-ish drive, we try to time it to where it's during Duke's naptime.  If your baby hates the carseat and doesn't fall asleep in the car, this may not apply to you.  We are blessed to have a baby that almost always falls asleep in the car.
2.  Have your baby fall asleep in your arms or someone else's arms.
3.  Rock your baby to sleep in his/her carseat.
4.  Put your baby to sleep in another room.  This is always my best bet on getting Duke to have a good nap.

I've discovered that skipping naps isn't really something that little babies can cope with well.  Even if it's just a cat nap (30-45 minutes), it's still better than nothing.

Getting out now, with Duke at almost 5 months, is very different than even just a month ago.  As he has gotten older, it's gotten easier.  It's so nice to have a schedule that works for us whether we stay in or go out!

schedule and routine can be friends

Both are great.  Every mom does it differently.  Some stick to a schedule, some stick to a routine, and some do a little of both.  I stick to a schedule but in case that gets messed up, staying with our routine works out just fine.

Since we follow Babywise, our routine is eat, wake, sleep.  Babywise also encourages getting onto a schedule.   A schedule helps so many things.  Sometimes when people think of a 'schedule,' they think of feeling boxed in.  Actually, I've found that a schedule allows a lot more freedom on my part.  If someone wants to meet for coffee, I know exactly when a good time would be.  If I was only on a routine, I would maybe have to wait and see until the time got closer to let my friend know when I'd be there.  If I had another child who had an afternoon nap at 2pm every day, I could make my baby's schedule to where he would have one of his naps at 2pm also.

A schedule also helps you know what's happening with your baby.  If your baby keeps waking early from naps, maybe she was over-stimulated during her waketime.  If your baby is crying and you know she's rested, full, and clean, she may just have some trapped gas.  Because there is order to the day, you are able to see when something is off, wrong, or needs to be adjusted.

Can a baby really be on a schedule?  Of course!  Now, does this mean that if Duke was screaming because he was hungry 30 minutes earlier than usual that I wouldn't feed him?  No way!  If that happened (and it has), it might just mean he's going through a growth spurt and needs to eat more.  Babywise encourages parent direction but also places the responsibility on the parent to follow the cues of your child.  

Because life is unpredictable, there are times our schedule might have to be compromised.  If so, I can always fall back on our routine.  That way, Duke still knows what to expect, it just may not be at the same time of day it normally is.

Getting off schedule isn't a huge deal.  You can always adjust feedings/naps to get right back on.  Consistently getting off schedule can be a killer.  I quickly learned what things were worth getting off schedule for and what things weren't.  Obviously, the holiday season requires a lot of flexibility.  We were up for it, but I sure was glad when things got back to normal.

Using a schedule and a routine together has worked for me!