looking back on 2015

HIGHLIGHTS

I ended 2015 as a 29 year old woman, a wife that is more happily than ever married to Colt, and a mom with two precious kids, 4 and 1.5 years old.  We love our home and the Lord has provided everything we've needed.  We are surrounded by close family, precious friends, an unbelievably wonderful church, and a loving community group.  2015 has been a good year.  Here are some highlights:

We met up with the Watsons in California for vacation.
We swapped our dining room and music room.
I wrapped up the Nursing Nova blog series (along with my emotions and misplaced frustrations).
Nova finally got tubes and, while there were a few infections that followed, the tubes have saved our lives and our sanity.
I pooped my way through ran the relay in the OKC Memorial Marathon.
Colt added on the side gig of becoming the youth pastor at our church.
We went to Maui with my family.
After a 4 year process, we released our first EP as Mopak and played a really fun release show. (Listen to the EP on Spotify!)
I got better at saying no.
I got to write once for Gospel Centered Discipleship and once for For Every Mom.
I had my first commission to write a lullaby for a long time friend's baby girl.
We said goodbye to Colt's sweet Nana who lived such a God-honoring life.
Colt and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.
I cut my hair off.
We paid off Colt's student loans.
We started working on a set of my songs for our next EP.
I went to the movies for the first time in 3.5 years.

BLOGGING

In 2015, I wrote 79 blog posts.  That number is considerably smaller than previous years, but I'm okay with that.  These were some of my most-read and/or personal favorite posts:

i went to the movies
icky feelings
the 7 year itch
dear first time mom
areas to examine when overcoming anxiety
a summary of nova's first year
waiting for the storm to pass
life still happens when you aren't nursing
you are worth the celebration
the evidence of motherhood
build courage by embracing suffering
how nova slept through the night

RESOLUTIONS

These were my resolutions for 2015:

wear my retainer at night more often
Hit and miss on this.  I wore it more, yes, but not as much as I'd hoped.

have both bathrooms semi-updated
We didn't do much to our master bath this year except for add a new rug and organize the shelves.  But in our guest bath, we painted the wood trim white, painted the walls grey, got new rugs, got a new shower curtain, and added a cute photo of the kids on the wall.

finish writing my album
Yes!  All songs are written with a few tweaks left.  Currently, we've got 2 of the 6 figured out as a band.  Practices are scheduled each month and hopefully we'll head into the studio in the next few months.

spend some kind of time with God consistently
This happened much more.  When I wrote this goal, I thought that I'd either land on doing it before kids wake up or after they go to bed.  What I ended up deciding is that spending time with the Lord in the morning is the best - but not necessarily before they wake up.  Most of the time, when I get up before the kids, there is some kind of silent alarm that goes off in their rooms, telling them that they should also get up.  It's weird.  I get up before them, they wake up early.  I get up with them, we all get up at 8-8:30.  It became more of a stress and frustration trying to get up early and beat the clock.  What works best for me right now is getting the kids fed, cleaned up, and down to play.  After that, I sit down at the table with my breakfast, journal, and bible/bible study/devotional.  It's a noisy, interrupted time, but it's also special because my kids see me do it.  For now and in this season, it works best like this.

MY WORD

My word for 2015 was surrender. 

In Life.  I saw surrender play out in saying no.  I talked about that in this post.  I learned that saying no is good and necessary.  Maybe the most important part, though, is realizing that I don't have to feel guilty for saying no.  For my sanity, my emotional limit, and the health of my family, I have to say no to the things that bog us down, busy us up, and make us crazy.  That took surrender – surrendering a "yes," surrendering the outcome of saying no, and maybe even surrendering a desire that just didn't fit in this season.

In Marriage.  I can certainly say that there is more of an ease to our marriage as we enter into this year as compared to last year.  I can feel the growth and the change.  More surrender, more giving in, more apologizing, more serving, more giving up of what we want for the sake of the other.  I am married to a great man who is a leader in all of these things so I consider myself very blessed.

In Friendships.  I saw the fruit of surrender here.  I saw what happens when you give of yourself, your time, and your resources.  We're all bound to be at rock bottom at some point.  I've had my moments and the way my friends rushed in during those times will never be forgotten.  I got to be on the other end of that many times this year and it was so rewarding.  It's a privilege to walk alongside people in their burdens.  It's just what Jesus wants us to do and when we do it, it is incredibly fulfilling.  Yes, you have to give things up to do it, but the return is so much greater.

In Motherhood.  I've discovered that I feel the most frustrated, alone, exhausted, fed up, and numb on days that I'm doing too much, expecting too much, or only focusing on myself.  Of course, all of those emotions are normal to feel as a mom, but what I do and how I react because of those emotions is where I mess up a lot of times.  I usually have the wrong response.  Occasionally, very occasionally, I can look inside of myself, find the deeper issue, and make a change.  On those days, I win.  I find the piece of me that needs to surrender.  For example, a few days ago I was having one of those days.  I was so done with all of it.  One more making of a lunch was going to kill me.  One more "Can you say that to me in a different way?" was going to make me pop.  But the next day?  I was fine.  It was easier.  I liked my kids more.  The difference?  I surrendered some of my time to make sure I spent time with God and I surrendered thoughts of what I wished I was doing or what I felt like every other person was doing and focused on what I was actually doing.  When we hand things over and give things up that aren't meant to be held in our brains and hearts, life works better.

I love picking a word at the beginning of each year because it gives me something to focus on.  I saw this word on my wall every day.  Some days, I put it into action.  Some days, I didn't.  But I'm so thankful for the days I did and for the constant reminder of how important surrender is in so many different areas of my life.

holiday review 2015

THANKSGIVING

I'm sure you don't remember, but last Thanksgiving was one for the books.  We were in the thick of Nova's ongoing ear infections and Duke went on a poop strike.  We gave thanks for enemas and antibiotics.  We could only go up from there.

This year was great.  We kicked everything off with our annual 3rd annual OBU Friendsgiving.

Then, we spent Thanksgiving day with my side and the following two days with Colt's family in Stillwater.  The weirdest thing was not having Nana around with the Westbrooks.  She passed away in September and we all definitely felt her absence this year.

visiting Brandon at the coffee shop

We left Stillwater earlier than planned that Saturday evening because of all of the power outages.  We weren't sure of what we'd come home to and we needed to have time to make a plan.

Sure enough, we had no power.  We grabbed a few things inside the house and headed to the Chambers' to spend the night.  After we put all give kids down for bed, we got Poblano takeout and watched the bedlam game.  It was such a fun impromptu little date night. 

PRE-CHRISTMAS

my dad's company Christmas party

Walrus Audio Holiday Party

community group Christmas party

I love the entire Christmas season and one main reason is because it means lots of musical activities.  We did our 5th annual Cuppies Caroling night and it was so much fun.  I came prepared this year (finally) with lyric sheets printed out for us.  It's such a fun thing to sit around with these girls who I've known for most or all of my life.

A few days later, Karlie and I (IG: @maryanntheband) did an evening of melancholy Christmas music.  Because sometimes you don't want to have a holly jolly Christmas.  Sometimes you wish you had a river you could skate away on.  So, for all the folks who needed a little calm and understanding, we decided to stick with our theme.

Our last musical event of the season was when we, The Night Nights, (IG: @thenightnights), did an hour of Christmas music and interactive stuff with the kids.  I cannot tell you how much I loved it.  There's nothing like doing music in front of a bunch of eager, smiling kiddos with Christmas anticipation filling their hearts.

my Mama Lue and my mom after our piano recital

One night, we had a special movie night with Duke.  We put Nova to bed and then popped popcorn, ate candy, and watched Inside Out.  Duke was in heaven and I think he felt extra special that he got to stay up late with us.  He kept asking questions like, "Are we staying up til morning?  Is it already time to wake up?  Am I gonna sleep in here tonight?"  The kid loves his sleep.

Our Christmas Eve service was extra memorable this year since Colt and I were asked to lead a short kid's music time.  I planned on plopping Nova in my lap while I played and sang.  She's used to doing that at home, but I was crossing my fingers she'd stay put.  And she did!  A true Christmas miracle!

CHRISTMAS

We spent sweet time with our families, ate lots of good food, and laughed a lot.

One of my favorite memories of this Christmas will be that we re-gifted the dollhouse that my dad made for me when I was 4.  (The dollhouse I talked about in this old post.)  I wasn't quite ready to indulge in Barbies with the kids, but I got some dolls, threw in some homemade furniture, and called it done! 

NEW YEAR'S EVE

All night we said, "We've got to remember to take a picture before everyone leaves!"  But we still forgot.  Oh well.  It was a fun night with a small group of OBU folks.  Duke even got to stay up late with his buddies (Cooper and Camryn) that night.  Cookies, pigs in a blanket, and movies on the iPad until 10:30?  He hardly knew what to do with himself.

It was a fun, relaxing holiday season and I'm looking forward to what 2016 brings!

2015 new year's resolutions

Last year, my new year's resolutions were:

like country music
Mmm, I saw JT in concert and I heard him cover "Friends in Low Places" ... and I semi-enjoyed it.  Does that count?
run two races
I ran one - the Route 66 half marathon in Tulsa.  It was slow and it was painful, but I did it.  
become obsessed with drinking water
You know, I'm not obsessed.  But like I said last year, I do know this:  If I'm exercising consistently, I drink more water.  So really, if I'm doing what I should be doing, the water will happen.  Also, we started adding lemons/limes to our water and it's amazing how much more I enjoy it!
organize my blog categories
I did this!  Click here to see them.
pray for Colt every day
I wasn't perfect in this area, but there was definitely improvement.  I had 31 words written on numbered index cards.  For the corresponding date, I would pray for whatever was on the card.  It seemed like it was easier to remember this way, yet still very purposed and meaningful.
work on one bible verse a month with Duke
We didn't do one per month, but in the entire year he memorized 6 verses.  I'm so proud of him!

These are my goals for this year:

wear my retainer at night more often
I'm aiming for 5 times a week.  I used to be a maniac about wearing it all of the time.  There were no excuses and no exceptions.  It wasn't until halfway through college that I started getting a little lazy with it.  After I got married, even lazier.  After I had kids?  No way.  So I shoved it back in a few weeks ago and started over.
have both bathrooms semi-updated
This does not include big stuff like new a new shower/tub or new counter tops.  Just the doable stuff - paint, repairing a drawer, a fresh stain on the wood cabinets ... those kinds of things.
finish writing my album
There is a series of songs that I've been working on for the past couple of years that compiles some of the struggles I've experienced in the past few years (anxiety, nursing, etc.) and tells the story of how I moved through them.  I'd love to eventually record it once it's ready, but right now, getting it all written is the goal.

spend some kind of time with God consistently
For being such a structured person of routine and plans, this is the one thing that does not get carved into my schedule.  There's always a "reason" to put it off or move it around.  Then, I just forget to do it.  In a perfect world, I'd get up at 5 a.m., run 4 miles, take a shower, get ready, and drink my coffee while reading, praying, and journaling.  But I'm just not there yet.  So I'm cutting myself some slack.  There are two times during the day when I think it could work.  1:  In the morning, once Nova is down for her nap and Duke is playing.  2:  At night, before bed.  Each day, I'm going to wake up and see which time fits best for that day.  The goal is that I will land on something that really works.

What are your resolutions for 2015?

holiday review 2014

Time for the big holiday wrap-up.  I'm going all the way back to several days before Christmas when all of the Christmas-y things started, so buckle up!

CHRISTMAS IN OUR HOME

PETER PAN LIVE // THE SOUND OF MUSIC

We watched the magic of live theater from our couch with Duke, Brandon, and Bailey while eating white chicken chili and cornbread.  Duke was mesmerized.  The Sound of Music also came on TV one night and Duke loved it.  He kept saying, "That Captain's not very nice.  He's grumpy!" 

CAROLING AT CUPPIES & JOE

This was the 4th annual caroling night for our little group of girls and it was so fun!  Next year is the big 5 year anniversary and we plan on finding some way to make it extra special!  (And by special, I mean that maybe it'll finally be the year that I don't mix the tenor and bass parts up while singing "Carol of the Bells."  I'm telling you - LOTS to look forward to.)

LIGHTS AND STARBUCKS

I absolutely loved driving around and looking at Christmas lights as a child.  I want this to be one of our traditions every year.  Maybe as our kids get older it will be less about lights and more about a good excuse to keep them in the same space as us so we can have a conversation.  I'm good with that.

Duke devoured his hot chocolate and kept Nova very entertained with all of his Christmas light commentary.  It was a wonderful night that I won't forget.

CHRISTMAS PIANO RECITAL

The past several years, my mom and I have done our Christmas piano recital at a nursing home or an assisted living center.  But this year, I was flooded with memories of doing music with my family at a place just like this.  Growing up, my parents would load us all up, instruments and voices ready to go, and we'd go perform a set of Christmas tunes for a nearby nursing home.  I'm sure I rolled my eyes at times, but I always left feeling very satisfied.  It's a wonderful thing to give your music away, and I would love to be able to continue that with my own family someday. 

CHRISTMAS MUSIC AT CUPPIES & JOE

Karlie (my sister) and I gathered all of the most depressing Christmas songs we knew, and then we sang them at Cuppies.  Happy Christmas!  While we did sing Jingle Bells and a few hymns, it was mostly a night of melancholy melodies.  It wasn't in our plan to be depressing, but as we made our way through the set, we realized this wasn't a haul-out-the-holly-deck-the-halls kind of performance.  But we enjoyed it anyway!  Here are a couple of clips for you.  (Thanks for videoing, Reese!)

CHRISTMASES WITH GREAT-GRANDPARENTS

Duke and Nova have 5 Great Grandparents, which is nutso.  We're pretty lucky.  We celebrated with my Grammy and Papa before Christmas and had a good old-fashioned sing-a-long complete with instruments and a dancing Duke.

My Mama Lue and Grandad had us over after Christmas to celebrate.  Duke stuffed his belly full of jelly beans, peanuts, brownies, and gingerbread men.  He kept asking my Grandad, "Let's go in the kitchen and find somping!"  The kid loves to eat.  Can't imagine where he got that.

CHRISTMAS EVE-EVE AND EVE

On the 23rd, we went to my parents' house to have dinner, open presents, and spend the night.  You guys know how it is trying to get out the door with two kids and a thousand bags and gadgets.  When it was 1:30 p.m. and the kids were down for naps, I realized the only taste I had tasted all day was toothpaste.  I was so glad to sit down and watch "Saving Mr. Banks" (Oh my gosh, so good) and drink some hot tea.

One of my favorite memories from Christmas with my side will be opening our presents leisurely and having cinnamon rolls and milk after the kids went to bed.  It was such a relaxing and quiet time to talk and enjoy each other.

Colt and I both played in our Christmas Eve service at church.  My parents kept Nova at their house and Duke sat on the row with his friends.  Kelsey, Evan, Sara, and Megan get huge applause for holding the fort down.

Later that night, Brandon came over for a late night dinner and some quality sibling time.

CHRISTMAS DAY

This was our first Christmas morning to wake up in our own home.  It was absolutely perfect.  Colt served up a big breakfast, and we got to have the joy of watching Duke open up a few presents from us.  This was the first year we bought him anything, so it was sweet to see him get excited about the things we picked out.

After cleaning up and throwing bags and gadgets back in the car, we left for Stillwater to be with Colt's side.

One of my favorite memories from Christmas with them this year will be learning/playing Ticket to Ride.  This may be my new favorite game.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

We invited some families over (mostly OBU folks) to our home.  I knew people would be coming and going because most everyone has children.  By 9:30 p.m., it was just me, Colt, and Sara.  We watched the NYE shows, group texted with our friends who were also at their homes with sleeping babes, and Colt fell asleep on the couch.  Then it was midnight.  I said Colt's name loudly, he woke up, and I said, "Happy New Year, honey."  None of us moved.  It was a really great and relaxing night!  It was so great, that the only picture I took of the whole evening was of Duke, Camryn, and Cooper watching "Cars" in the music room while we all ate and talked in the living room.



We had a busy and fun holiday season as a family of four, but it is always nice when the normal life schedule resumes and the festive clutter of Christmas decor is put away.  I'm looking forward to this new year and there are several new years-y posts coming your way.  Hope you all had a wonderful end to 2014!